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August 19, 2013

Breakout Your Breakup: THE NATHANIEL P. Breakup Story Contest Winners Are In!

Posted by emily
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Your best and worst breakup stories are in! Thanks so much for sharing with us in honor of our NATHANIEL P. contest. We laughed, we cried, we empathized (read: ate our own body weight in Ben & Jerry's) and, ultimately, we --- like those cruel gods of fate --- picked 15 winners. And just remember: Better to have loved and lost than to have never won a free copy of THE LOVE AFFAIRS OF NATHANIEL P. at all.

Carol, NC (Grand Prize Winner!)
I walked by my boyfriend after not seeing him for two months. I didn't have my glasses on and didn't recognize him. He was so insulted. Instant breakup.

Sarah, NC
My boyfriend was scared to hurt my feelings so he gathered all his guy friends and got them to sing me a song after he broke up with me. The guys sang about how horrible my ex was and they each in turn asked me out. It was the BEST breakup ever!

Terry, DE
I broke an engagement in a bowling alley; it was a strike!

Bonney, NJ
I dated my next-door neighbor for a while, but when he wanted to get more serious I told him I had terrible gas. When he persisted, I demonstrated. He never asked me out again and soon moved away.

Brenda, IN
I caught my best friend with my boyfriend!! So lost two friends the same day! :( :(

Carla, FL
I caught my boyfriend with another girl, so I stormed out of the house --- he followed and he caught me almost just as I was slamming the door to my car. He jumped on the car thinking I would not drive --- he was wrong. He held on to where the windshield and hood were, and I took him for a ride. We went around the block three times, till I stopped and he jumped off.

Diane, IA
My sister sent back her boyfriend's breakup letter, with grammar and spelling corrections done in red ink!

Christine, CT
Worst breakup story...I came home from work to find my boyfriend in OUR bed on top of a [Editor’s note: insert your own negative adjective here] woman. I will never forget the crumpled pair of cheap drugstore nylons lying in a heap next to the bed. I remember thinking: He's sleeping with someone who wears drugstore pantyhose! That was as humiliating as the infidelity, frankly.

Karen, SC
Years ago, I went out to dinner with my boyfriend at a very exclusive restaurant. He paid the bill, and then turned around and told me he was ending our relationship. I had planned on telling him the same thing, but wanted to eat first.

Michelle, MN
He was an elementary school teacher and the STUPIDEST person I've ever known. We live in St Paul/Minneapolis and he didn’t even know that the giant river flowing through the place was the MISSISSIPPI! I could not deal with it.

Hannah, NC
The boy I was most in love with's dad was running from the police and they had to move to Alaska. I just never heard from him again.

Laurie, MS
The worst breakup was the day of my wedding. I was in the chapel room with my mom and bridesmaids when there was a knock at the door. My dad handed me my cell, which he was carrying for me, and said that my soon-to-be husband had left a message. I thought it was a love call but the message said: I am not sure how to say this but I think it might be a good time to breakup…please reply.

Michele, IL
My boyfriend broke up with me two days before Christmas so he wouldn't have to buy me anything. All his gifts were already purchased and wrapped.

Samantha, CA
I got dumped in a rainstorm and was left wet and stranded.

Sofia, IA
Lets just say it involved a lot of childish notes and friends doing the dirty work. But hey, at least this happened during middle school.